I've been expecting you
by Purecinnamonbun
Summary: Baz noticed the cat struggling in her lap. She didn't own a cat, Baz was sure. The cat had a collar and looked astoundingly similar to the one that Baz had seen in their next-door neighbours apartment. "You stole a cat?" "Borrowed is the operative word, Basilton. I just borrowed it without them knowing." In which Penny tries to give the shovel talk, and Baz just wants to sleep.


**This idea just popped into my head, so have yourselves some Snowbaz. Comments are appreciated!- Purecinnamonbun**

Baz had had a long day.

He'd been at the London School of Economics from about five in the morning, studying from an upcoming test, after his all nighters the last couple of days.

Classes were hell, and now all he wanted to do was cuddle up with his amazing boyfriend and watch some sort of terrible TV show that Simon always insisted on.

(Simon would never know that he secretly liked them)

Trudging up the many flights of stairs (of _COURSE_ the elevator was out of order), he shoved his key into the lock, and opened the door, stretching like a cat the minute he got inside.

Okay, now all he had to do was find Simon, get his obligatory hello kiss, and cuddle up with him on the couch.

"Simon?" Baz called tiredly, glancing around.

He must be in his room.

Baz slowly made his way forwards, practically falling asleep as he twisted the handle.

"I'm back!" Baz announced grandly, stepping forwards to find Simon.

Instead, he was met with the cold, hard back of a tall, leather spinny chair.

Baz wasn't tired enough to be hallucinating, was he?

He blearily stepped back, rubbing his cheek.

The chair slowly spun around to reveal Penny.

"I've been expecting you." She said solemnly.

"Huh?"

Baz was too tired for this sh*t. Hallucination or no hallucination, Bunce had to go.

He wanted to find Simon.

Baz started calmly pushing Penny's chair out of the room, and into the kitchen.

"Hey! Watch it!" Bunce yelled fiercely, slamming her feet down and scooching her chair back to its original position.

"Can you leave?" Baz asked, in a haze between awake and asleep. He really wanted to find Simon. Or sleep. Preferably, find Simon and sleep. Simon obviously wasn't in here.

Baz turned for the door, and started leaving in slow, sluggish movements.

The door was slammed shut by Penny, who ran back to her chair, and sat down again.

"Lets' try again." She muttered, clearing her throat. "Ahem. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch."

"M'names Baz." Baz mumbled, trying his hardest not to fall asleep against the doorframe.

"IT'S FOR EFFECT!" Penny screeched "WILL YOU JUST STICK WITH THE PROGRAM?"

Baz nodded dumbly. It seemed like the faster Penny spoke, the faster he'd be allowed to sleep.

" _Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch"_ Penny said with a flourish "It has recently come to my attention that I've neglected something very important. The shovel talk."

"Can we do this later?" Baz mumbled in his sleep-deprived state. He started tugging on the door handle again. "Where's Simon?"

"I told him to get us sour cherry scones. He'll be back in a couple of hours with an empty bag and crumbs around his mouth."

Baz slid down against the door and closed his eyes. He'd just sleep a bit until Simon got back then.

A shoe slammed into his face.

He blinked his eyes open.

"Pay attention, will you?"

Baz forced himself to focus on the world around him.

"I've been dating Simon for six years, and I'm planning to propose to him on Sunday. Is this really necessary?"

"You're planning to propose to Simon?!" Penny leapt out of her chair in excitement. Then she remembered she was supposed to be giving him the shovel talk, and sat back down again. " _Anyway-"_

Baz's bleary eyes focused on Penny's lap.

"Is that a cat?"

"Yes. It is."

The cat currently seemed to be struggling and hissing and biting. Penny seemed to be clinging on for dear life, while attempting and failing to stroke it.

"Where did you get it from?" Baz asked, slightly more alert.

"Outside." Penny said shortly.

The cat had a collar and looked astoundingly similar to the one that Baz had seen in their next-door neighbours apartment.

"You stole a cat?"

"Borrowed is the operative word, Basilton. I just borrowed it without them knowing." 

Baz decided to ignore the fact that Penny just stole a cat, and lurched to his feet.

"Can I go now?"

Penny jumped up, and shoved a finger into his face, seemingly dropping her whole 'mafia boss' facade

"YOU HURT HIM, AND I INTERRUPT YOUR BREATHING!"

Baz blinked.

"You've already interrupted my breathing. Several times. When I pushed Simon down the stairs at Watford, I couldn't breathe properly for two months, you beat me up so hard."

"Do you want it to happen again? 

Baz had to take a few seconds to process this in his sleep-addled brain. The moment he realised what she was saying, he came out with a short "No."

Penny rolled her eyes, and let go of the cat. Baz watched it jump through the window with interest, wondering if he could follow it.

"You know what, you already know I'll hurt you. Just tell me how you've planned your proposal then. It better be good enough for Simon."

Baz visibly brightened. This was a subject he's thought about so much that he could recite it in his sleep! Which was lucky, since that's what he'd effectively be doing.

After he was done explaining his plans of midnight picnics under the stars, and showed her the ring he'd bought, Penny laughed.

"Maybe you are good enough for Simon."

"It took you six years to figure that out?"

Penny grinned

"You know, you're ridiculously sappy when you're tired."

"It's cos I lose my filter." Baz piped up.

"You know what you should do? Simon should be back any minute! You should tell him exactly how much you love him!"

"Yeah!"

Penny held in her laughter as Baz eagerly headed out of the room. She may not have been able to dole out the shovel talk, but at least those two idiots would be married soon. Especially when she knew that Simon was planning to propose as well. She couldn.t _wait_ to see how that turned out.

When Simon finally returned, he was immediately latched onto by Baz, who blabbered on and on about how much he loved him. Simon just smiled, gave Baz a hello kiss, and cuddled up with him on the couch, Baz's head heavy on his shoulder.

 **I wrote this to get through my writer's block, so sorry if it's terrible.**


End file.
